Finding identity outside of your eating disorder

Finding identity is something that can be difficult for anybody and I wanted to speak a bit about my experience with this while finding my own way. I developed my eating disorder before I got diagnosed with autistic spectrum condition. This was difficult as I felt for a long time that had I been diagnosed sooner, maybe I wouldn’t have developed my eating disorder, as I thought that I may have not needed to find comport in “controlling” what I eat. However I now realise I could never know this, yes I can speculate but I will never truly know. I think as humans we overthink about things that may or may not have happened if the order of events in our lives are different. In the short term I’ve found this can help, however to move forward accepting the way things have happened can help us to heal (in my opinion). You can’t change the past as much as we so desperately want to on occasions, whether this be big or small things. What we can do, is change what we continue to do or change to make future events better for ourselves. 
When you have an eating disorder, for many this is our whole world and it shrinks the world for us so it revolves around this. I often get scared that friends, family and others I’ve met after developing my eating disorder won’t like me anymore when I’ve recovered. But why wouldn’t they?! It’s rare that anybody would say “I liked you better when you were ill” or “when you weren’t present and thinking about food all of the time, our conversations were so much more interesting” or even “I liked your body much better before”. Never say never as people say some very strange and irrational things but, these things are highly unlikely to be said and are a reflection on the type of person they are than you. Although these types of things aren’t kind, I appreciate that others in our lives may struggle when dynamics change and when recovered/recovering we may change slightly as people, but I’m certain it is for the better. Your eating disorder doesn’t make you a better version of yourself, it may feel like it makes it easier to cope in the world however I’ve never heard someone who has recovered from an eating disorder say “I regret my decision”. 

I hope these thoughts are helpful and maybe give a new perspective. Please remember not to be hard on yourself, you may be in a difficult place but trust your support network and have faith in yourself because YOU CAN DO THIS.
-Leah